Thursday, 11 February 2016


         How simply we switch from one thought process to another. Just like an giant wave fluctuates its destination towards destruction. Anatomy behind the intentions of the wave, no one understands rather no one makes an attempt to understand. Far beneath the tortured soul of the nature we live in, i have been tortured by surmounted thoughts and allegations. I attempt to succumb to every possible thought that makes me feel that i am the victim and at the same time i am the cause. i have no sympathy towards me but i don't intend to harm those.... well..... those whom we call our LOVED ONES.
          I have tried a lot to make me understand the clear and justified path. Well somehow i feel i have understood that. Well willing to do something and doing what you are willing to do are two immensely different things.. we must act. Chuck it..
         My write ups are not for the sake of some motivational bullshit. That's the magic behind writing, You can contradict yourself from paragraph to paragraph. Its not much of a contradiction than unpleasant irrational vague unstructured words trying to compensate my own, not so directional thoughts or my way of living my blistered life.
         Every adjective has got some meaning. Adjectives are meaningful and needed to impose some sort of dysfunctional impact over the readers. Some intellectuals may feel that i am fulfilling my passion to write only by adding unnecessary words and grammatical expressions. well i don't care!
Much of my writing i don't remember the next morning. That's how it is and that's how it will always be.
         I have read enough shit in my life and i have tried to imply those words from those great authors in my mediocre life. Well, it did not help. It doesn't. and it won't. Philosophies are not built on some XYZ's intellect or thought process. Philosophies have always been the contradictions to the society's thought processes'. When you find yourself not able to match with the some mispalced ideologies and you find that there are many like you who felt that they were misfit in the society, they agree to your thoughts and your thought are known as PHILOSOPHIES.
         I dont like to impose my thoughts on somebody. Many people younger than me are way more talented than me. I just have a nagging feelingthat just because they are young to me they look up to me as an ideal example. NO! I am NOT worth it! Nobbody is. Darkest secrests of any person lies far beneath the soul of his/her. Am i getting boring again? well i am talking to my writing pad as it never answers it will never answer.
         my writing should never be considered as some sort of philosophy as i have not a understood a fuck about life. People say hardships make you understand the worth of life. Well i believe hardships make you dream of becoming something that you are not right now. Don't misinterpret vision with illusion. "You are only as good as your world allows you to be"- Joker( From the film called The Dark Knight)
Rather than thinking of becoming someone better than others, i would put my efforts to become someone who is tolerant as well as the one who is stubborn the one who is directionless and who deserves a journey who counterattack his own contradiction with himself and who has only one purpose in life that is to exist and exist with no perceptions anticipations and expectations.
            Well what I want from life shouldn't have been mentioned in this write up of mine. But you know as i mentioned it earlier that that is the magic of writing, you can contradict yourself whenever you want to and however you want to. "Thoughts flow like butterflies" - Pearl Jam( phrase from a song called Even flow by pearl jam)
              now i suppose i want to discuss about the scariest part of the literature. the scariest part of the literature is, literature is not just a command over some language but expressions. Expressions change, Reactions change, people change from time to time. "Illusion is the only reality. The pnly contradiction is the observer"-Unknown. well to write all these random thoughts with nothing to convey, i dint require to scrap few pages or bearn my pretty fatty fingers. All it takes to write is the flow. Doesnt have to b directional always. How beautiful a river looks when you dont know the source of it or the destination it plans to arrive at. This is how i feel our human life is. I dont expect you to believe it. i will never will. The silent presence of our existence which flows with a gentle and humble flow is the reason i write or we write and read. Expressions and exploration of literature without expectations and come up with something of your own. Literary work is not something should be appreciated. What contradicts is what you crave for. LOVE PEACE
                As far as craving is concerned i have been through worst. i have been through some sort of illusions. such as substance abuse.. We can always come back from the illusions and and make our own illusion which is far more convenient. Convenience wiil be regretted someday. A day shall come in my life where i will criticize myself for choosing convenience over irrationality.
                Sounds stupid right? well thats the magic. Contradicting yourself. See how pathetically well described agony you build within yourself.
                Well, obviously for no reason.   

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